life is backwards - may 12th, 2012

Today is the birthday of George Carlin, who many think is one of the funniest comedians to have ever lived. His insights were so unique. One of my favorite of his bits was called Life is Backwards – and I’m paraphrasing it from memory, but it goes something like this:

“I’ve been thinking a lot about life lately – how unfair it really is.
I mean, it’s a long rough road.
And what do you get at the end of it – a death.
What kind of reward is that?
I’ve decided that I want to live my next life backwards:
You start out dead and get that out of the way, right off.
Then you wake up in a nursing home, feeling a little bit better every day.
Finally they kick you out for being too healthy.
So you enjoy your retirement and collect your pension.
Then you start work, and man, they give you a gold watch and a party on your first day!
So you work maybe 40 years, till you graduate and go to college.
Then the real fun begins – you get ready for high school: drink alcohol, party, and act generally promiscuous.
After that, it’s on to high school, then primary school – you become a kid, you feel great, you play, and you have no responsibilities.
Finally you become a baby, and everybody gives you lots of attention
and then . . .
You spend your last 9 months floating peacefully in luxurious spa-like conditions – central heating, room service on tap,
and then . . . you finish off as an orgasm.”

Now that’s what I call a life!