today I got to get my shit together - sep 18th, 2011

Is it just me, or do any of you also have a problem with being un-organized?
I mean, my desk is literally a pile of papers. There are stacks of books, records, CD’s – all over the floor of my office. It’s like an obstacle course just trying to navigate the room. The desk top on my computer is a mass of icons for random mixes, session links, photos, j-pegs, QuickTime videos, PDF’s, and endless Word files.
There are a couple of random stacks of clothes in my closet. Even the bathroom has a mound or 2 of books and notepads.
I feel guilty, but I’m not sure why . . .
I’m not unhappy.
I get things done.
I’m not overwhelmed.
I’m just messy.
I wish I knew why I like to flirt with the chaotic. If my psychiatrist were still alive, he would probably say, “Perhaps you are afraid of the randomness of life, so you mimic the chaos you sense around you.”
Perhaps . . .
My wife tells me to put things in folders, and this certainly is good advice. But then I can’t lay my eyes on it, unless I find and open the folder first. Everything looks the same. That just doesn’t seem right.
And the self help books preach that “With a little planning and personal ingenuity you can turn your life into a methodical system of well-orchestrated routines, always ready to meet the next challenge life has to offer. It sounds so simple, doesn’t it? That’s because it is. Being organized is truly the easy way out.”
Hmmm . . . I’m not so sure.
A few years back, I wrote a song called “lets crush routine” all about risking absurdity to roam the edges of chaosity. The chorus has that seriocomic image of searching the sky for water, all the while ignoring the fact that you’re standing in it.
I don’t know . . .
Maybe I won’t straighten things just now . . .
where’s my guitar?