teetering on the brink - jul 7th, 2013

Woke up at midnight drenched in sweat. The lone drone of a flabbergasted ceiling fan whipping sweltering air was the only sound disturbing the dark’s stillness.
I tried to remember what I had just been dreaming about, but I couldn’t pull it back. It scampered and hid deep in the caves of my subconscious somewhere.
No matter how I shifted, I couldn’t get comfortable. I was obviously lying on the lumpy folds of some unresolved issues. I tried slow deep breaths, they didn’t do the trick. Finally, I got up and walked to the window.
I really hate being in this frame of mind – the looming film of depression flickering in the corners of my perception. I’m well aware that only a thin line separates sanity from delusion, and I was trying my best not to wander off.
I looked out and up at the humid overcast sky, and wondered what I was missing? I follow the code: show up, do the work, eat right, exercise, get enough sleep, when I can sleep . . .
What was I doing looking over the edge and teetering on the brink?
You know what, screw this, I don’t like heights. I’m going to go take a shower.
Whatever is lying in wait for me is going to have to work around my schedule.