Latest Words Last modified: Sun, Jul 13th 2008 - 2:35 PM BRING IT HERE give me pleasure give me pain i just want to feel alive you can’t fool me with tomorrow i only want what’s now let me taste it i need answers right here right now got the itch for clarity i need to rub away the numbness scratch until it's raw so i can feel it all i want is to deal with reality no more spin no more scrim of secrecy no surrender no retreat i am ready for what comes i got my eyes wide open & my mind is free & clear bring it here UNDER GLASS oh sad & lonely world full of frazzled frightened souls scurrying around like pinballs running up ramps bouncing off bumpers frantically trying to score points & light up some momentary flash that only glows for an instant then is gone when flippers flapping furiously their ball finally falls down the drain only the high score is posted for the rest no trace CHEESE & CRACKERS reaching into pitch black dark longing to touch to make connection afraid but hoping against hope that we are not alone but we are alone stuck in hollow rooms nobody knowing where we are or caring what we think eating cheese & crackers by the sink hungry for the naked touch of life BLACK TOENAILS i watch you sitting there in your summer dress bare feet toenails painted black one foot cradling the other so delicately demure bare legs tan & slender perfectly formed rising up to meet in the place i like to linger when i can the sweet hot spot where all my summer rhapsodies reside THE THRILL today i walked around filling my pockets with rocks ballast to hold me on the ground so i won’t get sucked out of this world another body sent to the zombie parking lot t h o u g h my mouth has become a thunderstorm & steady breaths have given way to habitual moans & puffs of frustration & my hair is a lit fuse creeping toward my brain & sounds seem to linger longer in my ears before dissolving & the moons on my fingernails have almost set & i rub my eyes in the relentless darkness asking over & over who’s there? but no one answers & my wick is burning down sending smoke rings floating into the sky forming clouds that look like white handkerchiefs b u t this is no surrender b e c a u s e my blood is a river raging thru my veins carbonated by confidence still restless still seeking the thrill THE DREAM i used to have this dream that if i moved my arms a certain way i could fly glide on currents of air e m p o w e r e d by some unknown force of will to hover over the landscape a vista of possibility able to see everything all at once or sweep in to examine anything up close could it be i was a nosey sparrow in some previous existence was this all just evidence of lingering residual memory no matter i relished f l o a t i n g arms/wings akimbo apart but still a part but best of all was the fact that no one else seemed to notice 20 QUESTIONS how come my life feels so hollow? what am i living for? i feel like i’m waiting for some one - who? where should i go? what should i do? why am i restless all the time? how can i stay focused? when will i learn to keep my mouth shut? where will i find my soul mate? will this loneliness ever go away? why do i feel so helpless? why can’t i sleep at night? what happened to my sense of self? why don’t i have any real friends? somewhere along the way i lost my passion, how can i get it back? why do my lips always seem so dry? why don’t i ever feel satisfied? how do i find a way to fit in? when will this emptiness disappear? will i ever find peace? CORNFIELDS cornfields fallow or fodder are my favorite places to walk the neat & orderly row after row after row draws me in but i don’t walk the lines i like tramping across the furrows there’s something satisfying about stomping on swollen earth going against the grain SWALLOW LIFE let's riff jump & jive chug experience feel alive stay conscious be here now swallow life let's blow beyond our minds scratch & scribble outside the lines stay conscious be here now swallow life let's scat sweat & scream spit in the wind let off steam stay conscious be here now swallow life let's split runnin wild let's lose the inner child stay conscious be here now swallow life let's squeeze between the cracks kick the monkeys off our backs stay conscious be here now swallow life let's burn man really wail send the needle right off the scale stay conscious be here now swallow life let's riff jump & jive chug experience feel alive stay conscious be here now swallow life wound down in the mad sad paradise drivin round in a beat up old black biscayne jammin on a james brown backbeat clockin to the quarter tones kickin licks around my brain longin for the lost bohemia i musta missed it my appointment with reality i'm inside on the outside sitting on the shoulders of time just ridin it out HURRICANE first light found the gulf winds rifling thru the jacaranda trees there was an eerie stickiness in the air as a darkened scrim of storm clouds were forced marched across the wide sky somewhere far away a siren complained but there were no morning bird sounds or cries only the faithful flag snapping & crackling on it’s corner pole i crawled deeper into my cave of blankets trying to will myself to be anywhere else but here captive fearful of facing the force of unresolved feelings caught in a squeeze i can’t control there will be no reprieve this time i’ve already chain-smoked all my chances all i can do now is wait PARDON OUR DUST excuse us while we try to reconfigure reality to create a better l i f e sand the rough spots round the edges knock off anything that sticks out make it smooth take it’s teeth all gums is where it’s at for us relax research shows you’ll like it just smile eat your jello CRAZY SPECKS i woke up had to hold out my hands to steady myself trying to slow the world whizzing by it barrels along all the time even while I sleep doesn’t stop for nothin or nobody i run along with it every once in a while for the rush of connection but then i drop out it’s become too much way too much besides i’d rather watch the dust dance in the sunlight & imagine what music those crazy specks are listening to IN THE STILLNESS alone inside my soul in the stillness i dream that i know how to deal with the world with life & what it means to be alive i imagine what it's like to be in tune to hear each action resonate creating clear long tones that ring & rumble then return reverbed rich & warm & right in time i press that feeling against my memory & push as hard as i can but when i let up it's gone it's always gone GRAVEL BEACH we are not alike in any way so what is it that draws me to you lures me lunging uncontrollably magnetized thrust like the tide up against your gravel beach rushing fast at first shoving pushing racing blindly headlong shooting forceful silvery smooth in motion, then slower s l o w e r, reaching up on tip of toes to touch as much to sop, seep & cover cap & crest to possess saturate soaking thru till gravity yanks dragging me back i take as much with me as i can for as long as i can friction found sound slipping back into the cold water of humanity this time it hurts disoriented i stew waiting in the ocean of my aloneness cold and heaving wondering when i will be thrust again WHERE THE WILD WINDS BLOW i’ve got to get out of here somehow some way there must be a better place somewhere some day i’m going to find it i want to go where the wild winds blow & nobody knows my name want to move so fast that i lose my past & start all over again i’m stuck in the same old rut what happened to all of my dreams? how did i end up walking the tread trapped in these worn-out routines? i want to go where the wild winds blow & nobody knows my name want to move so fast that i lose my past & start all over again there’s always lots of talk around be careful what you believe when everyone thinks that they know you all you got left is to leave i want to go where the wild winds blow & nobody knows my name want to move so fast that i lose my past & start all over again SURRENDER remember when we swore that we would never fade like our fathers we were gonna cut thru the world’s crap break down & overthrow the fakers & the fucks the gutless goons who take everything but deserve nothing we promised not to compromise to look, live, & stay d a n g e r o u s intent & focused relevant to our last breath what happened, mates? what the fuck happened? TAO CHILD only one rule guides us thru this life see the way & make it happen tao child you take your own path no map - going where the planet pulls focused on the ride doing it doing it doing it tao child you run it wide open fearlessly trusting your instincts never hesitating doing it doing it doing it only one rule guides us thru this life see the way & make it happen tao child shaking down the thunder channeling all of it's energy you make it look so easy doing it doing it doing it OUT OF THE COOL i woke up with a rorschach headache rem remnants cloud my eyes don't feel like getting out of bed today i'm sick of pretending another day crawls in on skinned knees one more chance to drop out of the cool day old coffee jolts my system prescriptions numb my brain time bites my tortured fingertips hoarse hours screaming my body may be obligated but my soul has snuck out of the cool in the cool completely insulated from worry or concern everything you want you can get in the cool in the cool it's so uneventful nothing's left to chance everything is under control in the cool the moon paints a searchlight canvas with star spangled cosmic dust while i drift in cold dark waters afraid of my freedom but loneliness rolls me like the tide in one last restless surge out of the cool QUESTIONS it’s fucking hot tonight there is an owl living in the towering palm tree outside my window even he’s not asking the usual questions too humid to hunt for mice or words, for that matter the passing cars slur by tires sticking, then ripping themselves from the road it smells dank & sodden like a plantation rotting away in the mangroves of bayou-filled lose-iana what’s left of it & I hear sirens wailing in the distance whining clamoring for attention just like everything & everyone else these days half a world away near tikrit a 22 year old soldier is sitting in a jeep in the noon heat 110 degrees wondering if anybody cares why he’s there WHY as i sat drinking in the darkness alone in my room last night y o u muscled your way into my weary head it wasn’t just your image i could feel you smell you taste you it made me shiver this eerie intrusion from a box long sealed & stowed deep in the basement of my being why ? can you tell me why ? CHASING INSIGNIFICANCE like lava down the desolate mountain of my existence i seared and stripped all vestige of your presence burned it off felt it fall away like ash chasing insignificance i closed my eyes and the sallow desert sands sucked me down swallowed like a pill pumicing my memories i sank into the empty endless void chasing insignificance walled in by solid slabs of fear and stumbling silence i feel my way around my cell unconscious drained of hope blind deaf dumb numb chasing insignificance GOIN DOWN SLOW i just want to get the straight from you up to now i’ve trusted everything you said was true but – it turns out – most of it was not looks like we live in different worlds going down slow going down slow i can feel the burn you’ve got your so-called friends to back you up & i get your body sometimes but it is not enough to only be someone who makes you come it’s way past time to say goodbye going down slow going down slow i can feel the burn i really thought this thing we had would last but my foolish wishful thinking suddenly collapsed so what if i take a drink or two i’m twelve steps away from innocence going down slow going down slow i can feel the burn for HOLLIS GENTRY troubled soul even tho music chose him pulled him out of the massive pack & set up permanent residence in his lank how it dominated exploding with an intensity could only be forged by pressure beautiful passionate wild roller coaster rides of notes poured thru him as if effortlessly & drenched our astonished ears yet he would not find contentment in the altitudes of spontaneous expression as if he knew he must always refuse to release the edge keep it cloudy but oh! sometimes the sun would break thru & he would erupt with a self-possessed clarity a purposefulness a pure peaceful musicality to tell a tale must make even grown men cry then i could look in his eyes & see he was free & now he is finally & we are the losers no more trips to the outer limits no more firework displays bitter tears but at least he is finally free MINOR BLUE SURCEASE earthed in your quiet love my home is on the range underneath the blanket of blue air i stare up at countless buddhas beaming down from space the silence peaks like waves through liquid hollows of my ears and i seem s u s p e n d e d caught in the moment of minor blue surcease far from the cities without edges and the highways choked with cars partners in pleinair anywhere i don't care as long as i'm roaming someplace new with you breathing in the wind lip to lip we hang and seem s u s p e n d e d caught in the moment of minor blue surcease stripped to the essence connected to the core in the absolute serenity of timelessness stressless seconds become raindrops soaking thirsty soil we feel the grasses germinate grow and lift us up to seem s u s p e n d e d caught in the moment of minor blue surcease TASTY when i put my arms around your waist & pull you close my universe e x p a n d s & life becomes a lush jungle teeming with abundance & when i watch you move the rhythms of existence a l l f a l l into place oh & i am one with the world f r e e to loose myself to wander wild in the wilderness where the waters are cool & the fruit is ripe & when your lips brush mine & glaze my mouth with soft sensation then my cosmos c l i c k s into focus clear & defined & i know i know i know you’re everything i want & everything i need oh sweet sugar pie sweetness you’re so t a s t y i can smell the rain coming warm & moist THE CURRENT KEN this forsaken world is falling apart around me it takes both arms to hold it together no chance to reach for the brighter moments though they do float by intermittently glowing like ornaments reminding me of better times carefree days when i didn’t know any better THE PLANET REELS a quiet summer afternoon lying on the grass on my stomach arms outstretched, head down ear to the earth hugging my planet i sense it reeling i feel a long slow shudder a rumble & wonder what it could be . . . is it the trudging feet of tens of thousands of homeless refugees carrying bundles of everything they own ? or is it bomb blasts, landmines, mortar, gunshots exploding one somewhere every single second in endless, senseless, synchronized brutality ? or could it be millions of anguished, simultaneous sobs from those in pain, tortured or persecuted, or robbed of someone they loved ? all needlessly the sun is benignly warm on my skin yet I know that somewhere connected on the crust of this measurable orb those same rays beat mercilessly down on mothers holding their starving children skin caked with the salt of dried tears & sweat money, territory, power how much does one need ? the planet reels human beings are suffering how long can we go on pretending that there is anything more important than this ? M T walkin the sun-bleached streets of this city just walkin & watchin seekin the cause seekin any cause but not findin much vacant stares a bitter competitive taste & the over-powerin stench of m t ness you’d think a walk would help you escape the isolation it only makes it worse all of us hidin in our own mental caves claimin to be part of somethin cause we chew the same useless cud that means absolutely nothin & has no substance but is oh so nicely prepared & packaged where is the force ? the passion ? the commitment ? is anything goin on ? what are we doin here ? oh right, that’s what we don’t want to have to think about real existence so we stuff down that prepackaged reality that the media serves us in an ever-expandin array of ways so here we all are passin time but goin nowhere fast only thing is this is our time & we’re pissin it away fat faded fools bangin on the piano of death BACK HOME take me home i could really use some family i just need a little time to charge my energy turn me loose to wander thru my fields of memories everything will be alright once i make it back home back home people there know what it’s really like back home back home nothing’s gonna stop me from going cause life’s too short i don’t really care what others think i just want to go where i can be myself & revel in my roots back home back home people there know what it’s really like back home back home where all my dreams were born so take me home i could really use some family i just need a little time CLUELESS there they were hundreds of them perched in a line on the telephone wires all facing the same way staring toward the horizon as if waiting for some signal or maybe for an answer to suddenly appear the magical message that would enlighten them & let them know why they were there orderly comfortably spaced & disposed well intentioned but nonetheless clueless LIFE BEFORE DEATH she looked up at me from beneath those sculpted brows & windmill lashes, & asked if i had found any evidence of life before death i watched the words come out of her mouth, bent over & kissed her perfectly formed lips, then shrugged & shook my head CHAIN OF CHOICES you won’t admit it but I know you must be scared i can see behind your eyes you’re carryin a heavy load i wish i could tell you everything will always work out like you want sometimes it won’t i wish i could tell you that no one will ever disappoint or leave you lost & alone life is a chain of choices some are good some are not but the trick is to keep on choosin & make the best of what you’ve got BALANCE my lips d r i f t like a raft down the mississippi of your back CHINASKI the streetlight glared at the dirty sidewalk dried-out puke on the curb air conditioners spit from fourth floor window ledges down ancient chipped graffiti-covered brick caked with grime smell of piss round the corner in the alley mixed with scents of stale smoke flat beer & sour grease-coated garbage cans nestled in the glass of broken liquor bottles & cigarette butts crushed cardboard boxes first i saw the tip of his lit snipe he was sitting on an old ratty corn-colored couch cushion propped up against the side of a dumpster & as soon as he saw me notice him he farted & i laughed "hey, hank . . . where the fuck you been, man?" BIG MOON somehow the big moon beats down harshly on my worn out brain tonight sending down ice pick rays spindly fingers poking at my consciousness refusing to let me sleep i can’t hide from it i tried but it knows me too well where i always go what i always do & i am too bone-weary to try something new besides i’ve been here before i remember e v e n t u a l l y sleep’s scratchy wool blanket will drop down on me to hide my fears & send me crawling off to find my dreams DOIN IT TO DEATH (for james brown) death you’re too late he’s already sizzled stages across every single state splitting to the floor with a cold sweat scream slamming to his knees t h e n back up & spinning shouting please please please please he funked a nation a n d he’s already done it to you too you’re too late death 1/1/2004 my roots reach down and grip the earth i suck the sap up thru out-stretched arms to touch the winds to feel them stream thru my fingers cool dry & steady 9/25/01 will there ever come an end to this numbing suffering the inner ache that permeates each passing hour since and shadows every eye how sweet would be release passage from this restless penetrating unease some blissful slip back into that space where we forget just how temporary everything is ZEN i am beating my heart playing it cool taking a breath giving it back conscious unconscious i have opened my eyes cut loose from my past free of the itch i am bobbing afloat caught in the flow riding the waves part of the whole out of control unmagnitized i am right, i am wrong inside & out throbbing with life i spin with the earth nothing exists all things are one taking a breath giving it back beating my heart i am playing it c o o l IMMERSED this eternal now this e t e r n i t y it’s always going on & we (beams of energy) are always here with it in it of it sometimes as a tingling gust of fresh air or a cloud rippling across the sky or for a time as an industrious spider learning discipline building web after web or a plant struggling to bloom adapting to it’s place in nature for this time as a human being trying to come to grips with what the addition of a mind m e a n s in the grand scheme of things the ability to truly u n d e r s t a n d this living & endless p r e s e n t so alive so intense that maybe we occupy ourselves with the mundane just so we don’t have to deal with the immensity of r e a l i t y aaaaahhhhhhh brief relief but that doesn’t change it ( take a d e e p b r e a t h . . . ) that doesn’t change it OUT HERE ON THE EDGE bamboo grows a foot a day the succulents don’t need my care bougainvillea is in bloom there’s eucalyptus in the air the santa ana’s breathing down my neck hot breath that cracks my lips it pushes me out to the ocean’s ledge to view the waves that wall me in i know i’m trapped out here on the edge sometimes I try to look away over the canyons of the past to better times & brighter days mirages that don’t last i chase the phantoms when i have the strength thru passages that wind but they all end up in a rocky wedge my cries return in ricochet i know i’m trapped out here on the edge night time is my only friend it hides within its darkened cape all my troubles & all my cares & all my chances for escape it opens up the limitless of sky & punctuates with stars but i don’t buy what they allege the innocence of ignorance i know I’m trapped out here on the edge EVOLUTION there's a cool breeze blowing down these troubled streets the scent of something good is snaking thru the neighborhoods inching right here within reach evolution like a faint dream emerging thru the haze the teardrops of adversity rinse away reality and leave only the truth evolution what's it gonna take to make us understand that we are all just small parts of this thriving throbbing planet? where each heart beats to the same tempo no one is better or less than the rest there is space & share enough for every one can we give up our meaningless concerns learn to live in peace and use our energies to reach a higher state of mind? evolution what's it gonna take to make us understand that we are all just small parts of this thriving throbbing planet? where each heart beats to the same tempo no one is better or less than the rest there is space & share enough for every one there's a cool breeze blowing down these troubled streets the scent of something good is snaking thru the neighborhoods inching right here within reach evolution evolution THE MOMENT suspended in honey i melt into your arms searching for your ferocious mouth HEARTS ON FIRE in the mist of midnight i heard a gasping scream an aching cry of passion from the edges of a dream imagine my surprise when i found that sound had come from me hearts on fire my heart’s on fire sheltered in a blaze ignited by your bliss i roam around your body inch by inch & kiss by kiss searching for sweet refreshment in each bead of honey sweat hearts on fire my heart’s on fire you’re smokin my senses i’m lost in your smells and each touch of your hot skin feeds my adrenaline i’m burning . . . burning and then when i hold you close like this guitar pressed up tight against me encircled in my arms i can see your body tremble as i strum each tender chord hearts on fire my heart’s on fire THE TRUTH i ran into the truth the other night it looked at me like it didn't know me like i was some stranger i know i dabble in my own reality but i surely thought our paths must have crossed once or twice along the way i guess not SOLITUDE words & thoughts of henry david thoreau arranged by chuck perrin we live thick blue devils & blue angels always in each others way we meet & greet & give each other new tastes of that same old musty cheese that we are i can't take it anymore i want solitude i love to be alone like when the snow falls fast & closes all the roads & the wind howls in the wood indescribable just let me have a draught of undiluted morning air at the first fountainhead of every day let me sit alone rapt in revery in undisturbed silence & i will remember past the ennui & the blues that i've never found a better friend than solitude i need some solitude a little world all to myself IT’S TIME it’s time time to fold up the pages of disappointment all those unfulfilled expectations fold them up in tight little wads stuff em in a shoebox duct tape it shut and slide it down the pitched roof that stretches out behind and below watchin it shoot down and off into space away a w a y then turn and hand over hand climb that red thread it’s time time to find out how far we can get with what’s left TRUSTVILLE well i’m on this train that never stops watching my world slide by while the mournful whistle moans your name and the steel rails testify that i let you down and lost your love with some foolish rendezvous so i spend each hour in exile and hope someday that you’ll take me back to trustville why did i ever leave? when you’re the only one i need yeah i’m on this train hauling regret in boxcars ten miles long and every tie that passes by reminds me i was wrong when i let you down and lost your love what a fool i was to roam now i’m shackled to this sad express tryin to get back home take me back to trustville why did I ever leave? when you’re the only one i need this train this train this train STRAWBERRY HILL crush hour in the city freeways simmer and sigh kaleidoscopic sidewalks surge as day and night collide the henna hand of twilight sketches shadows on the street in swelling tessellation till nightfall is complete no matter, still agendas tug as time dictates routine and life gets lost among the lists the scenes and the caffines but where we are there is no time just one eternal now only trees and star-smeared sky a mountain pleasure ground prisoners of nature force-fed our own free will till all our cares peel off in layers left here on strawberry hill TIME FADES AWAY the morning mist kissed the window pane as i woke up in your arms again prepared to face another day my spirit had been renewed cause every night i spend with you makes me feel more alive & time fades away side by side as the sun comes up watching steam rise from our coffee cups we welcome another day talking bout the day ahead but i didn’t hear a thing you said i was enraptured by your voice time fades away how did it happen that you came into my life & charmed my destiny i’ve waited years to feel a love like this it’s real life poetry & when we go our separate ways we still connect & resonate across the crazy madness of each day cause in the furnace of our hearts we are haunted by the spark down where all our fires start time fades away how did it happen that you came into my life & charmed my destiny i’ve waited years to feel a love like this it’s real life poetry when the midnight hour comes & all our daily cares are numb our bodies flowing into one time fades away     Latest Words   Early Words   Brother & Sister   Next of Kin   Peoria Folk Anthology   Life is a Stream   Mary T   Beat.itude   Swallow Life   :44 Of Love All selections © Chuck Perrin. 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